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We've been close companions for over two decades, a person who's overcome many challenges, which I admire. Yet, she's repeatedly blindsided in relationships. Her husband ended their marriage, which came as an unexpected event. Many of her social circle disappeared then, as they were drawn to the spouse. She was stunned by her. She put in more effort to be my friend, probably grasped better what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

In the time since, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't sure why. Her previous job turned on her, although she had been highly competent, her exit happened without knowing the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

Recently, we have each stepped back from work so we're spending frequent meetups, but I am finding my position between us is to listen. I introduce discussion points only for her to redirect conversation onto what interests her. In terms of politics, she expresses firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend double-checking information and different perspectives.

She's been organizing a holiday to a country I know well on several occasions even called home for a while. I tried to share personal experiences, yet it was unappreciated. She essentially just desired me to confirm her decisions. I recently ended 30 days in that place she hopes to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to be a friend who cuts and runs abruptly, but I don't think she will ever comprehend the effect of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Currently, my state is avoidance mode. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to walk away, but it is seldom the peaceful resolution that we desire. But confrontation with the goal of working things out takes courage and willingness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"The first step requires explaining what typically happens during your discussions. It should be as factual as possible and basically exactly what occurs. Step two involves sharing how this affects you emotionally. This allows for no argument here. Emotions are valid, of course. Finally involves requesting ways you together will alter the interaction between you."

Keep in mind she too has her own side, meaning you must to stay open to hear that. One effective method is telling your friend:

"It's your turn to speak while I will not say anything for a set time."

This can be effective to encourage better communication.

Final Thoughts

Your friend might reject your concerns, since certain individuals hold onto a deep-seated story: they maintain a narrative of their life they won't release as it feels essential is tied to it and it's all they trust. This poses a challenge as there is no thoroughfare with these people, only cul-de-sacs. But she may start out this way then consider about what you've said. If a resolution isn't found a fix, it provides satisfaction from having been truthful.